My kid turns 5 tomorrow. (Yes, 5! Where DOES the time go?) As I sit here and watch her sleep, I cannot help but remember how five years ago in this very moment I was preparing for the next frontier in my life: parenthood.
After cancer and a 50-50 shot of producing a healthy kid, I anguished for 9 months prior to her birth. Delighted and blessed she was "really in there", I wracked my brain worried about the moments ahead of me. Would I be a good mom? Could I continue to be a good wife? Could I be a rockstar at work and manage this new life? What if this...what if that...How will I this and that? (And the usual woman response...will I ever lose this baby weight?)
That night I feared failure.
I was sure that I was going to have issues...complications...and that my worst fears would come true.
Have you ever worried about failing?
It's okay. Raise your hand and relax. You're normal!
What is it about failure that takes up precious emotional energy in our brains? At the end of the day, though, failure and success is how WE define it. And that night I remember thinking, "Please God, just let her be okay."
She's fabulous. (I'm biased!) She was born kicking, crying, and full of an opinion. Don't believe me? The picture is worth 1000 words! But, in the five years since that morning, she's taught me more about life than I could ever imagine. She lives life to the fullest and she lets the world know that YOU should too!
I didn't fail that day. I succeeded. And damn, success felt pretty good.
Nine months ago (literally to today's date...coincidence, I think not), I birthed another child: a business I have been conceiving in my head, my heart, and on cocktail napkins. Pink Petro is a place where I seek to unite, connect and develop people in my industry with what I know, draw upon what they know, so that we can live our gifts, together.
Wow. I. Said. That. Out. Loud.
And I'm going to share my biggest fear with you, so far. Like birthing Ally, something that my mind, had very little chance of succeeding...I birthed Pink Petro with the fear of success.
You're afraid of success, you ask, as you scratch your head in wonder. Yes. Success. Because you see, as humans we all want to live to our fullest but when we get too full or even have a brush of it, we wonder how it is we got there. We question and doubt ourselves and our self-worth suffers. Others question how we got there. Have you ever heard... "Don't bite off more than you can chew, now!"
Fear success? greatness? Don't worry...again, it's human. Again, welcome to the club. You're normal.
There's this adage in life that we're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We think that lurking in the shadows is something that will stand in our way.
The fact is we stand in our own way.
And for years I stood in my own way. I put off my ideas. I focused on the wrong things. I didn't think anyone would care. I thought people would think I was crazy. Now, I don't care if they think I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy passionate about my family, life, work, and relationships. And I'm not going to stand in my way. When I feel that come on, I'm going to remind myself that...
We need to fear less, dream more, and make things happen.
Because we are worth it.
You are worth it.
Happy 5th Birthday, Ally. May you always live in a world where you choke on greatness, fear mediocrity and fly to the moon.
I love you more than you'll ever know.