Up to my eyeballs in diapers, a kitchen sink that always seemed to be overflowing in dishes, toys that never stayed cleaned up all the while I attempted to have a professional career almost drove me close to crazy. To others in my professional environment, it appeared that I had it all together. However, that was not how I felt trying to get through each day.
I took me several years of mothering, juggling and struggling before I started to see a light at the end of the tunnel to make sense of it all.
But I was determined. It hit me when I took my oldest child to his first day of kindergarten. That was the day I realized that the overwhelming times would not be around forever…and neither would the children.
As each year passed, my children would grow, develop and learn how to do more and more things for themselves. Then as they gained independence in the ironies of my motherhood, I would miss them.
So I learned how to be more aware of each year that I have with the children. I learned to focus less on what I could not do, and more on what I could do to enjoy every stage that we have with them. From the precious arms of their babyhood, to all the board games we played together, to uncountable car rides to and from the school and activities that we shared, to the to the interesting conversations with the teenagers…every stage passes quickly. So it is critical to make every stage with them count.
It is embarrassing but true – it is the beginning of March, and I have not put away all of our Christmas decorations.
Wow. I admitted it out in public. Recently I have had to make even bigger decisions to let go of balance and instead be “TILTed.” I have had to make the choices that matter most to our family, and let go of the rest.
With four active children, my professional work as well as just publishing and launching my dream “heart project” (to write a book to help working moms), there are many other parts of my life that are not very organized right now. It bothers me, but I have made many choices to let go of the impossible (balance) and focus on making the memories that matter.
My home could be perfectly clean, my children would never eat Chick Fil A, my mamavan would not have a blade of grass from the soccer fields on the floor, and I would respond to all my emails on a timely manner, but I would never have been able to help children in need through my charity, nor would I ever have been able to publish TILT. I cannot imagine missing out on the bigger purpose of my life, to help others in need.
So. I make those choices everyday. One day everything around me will be in perfect order…and that will be the day I am gone. Because in the “dash” of my life…
I am going to choose memories over balance every time.
Thanks Marci for reminding us to TILT. This month’s Hokey Pokey Gals Book Club is reading Marci’s new book. Comment below on what memories you’re making, what choices you’ve taken over trying to balance the perfect life. You could win a copy of Marci’s book!