Seriously? I think I’ve been in denial my entire life that this day would actually arrive. Well. Here it is. In a million years, I never thought 40 would look or feel quite like this…
There was a time when it was highly unlikely I’d live to be 40 (or 20 for that matter).
My motto growing up was “forever young” meaning I played H-A-R-D and convinced myself I didn’t care whether I lived or died. But hey, isn’t that the story of most drug addict/alcoholic teenagers? My “formative” years consisted of a truckload of bad decisions, running from myself and traveling across states even countries to escape reality. God help whoever got in my wake… (I refer to those as the “dark days”).
Cut to 1994, I was blessed to get sober at the ripe young age of 20.
That said, I thought my life was OVER. How could I possibly face every day without being completely ripped? Little did I know it was only the beginning…
2014, this year I’ll celebrate 20 years sober (head exploding).
You see, I truly believe my life (this life) didn’t start for me until I got sober. That’s when God started to do a work in me by (slowly) changing my perspective. He began to mold all the shame and guilt into something useful that can help others. I truly believe when lies and shame are brought into the light, God can work miracles. If we are brave enough to be honest, pain can unite us and create such change.
A wife, a mom of three littles and a business owner… (who’s life is this?)… our home is FULL of energy, laughter, sometimes yelling, crying, messiness, daily challenges, playing, joy but most of all LOVE. Running a small business forces me to strive for balance and inspires me to be an example for my kids. When I’m asked and able, I mentor younger women with similar pasts hoping to leave a legacy of love, trying to learn from my mistakes (as there have been a TON along the way) and having the compassion to forgive others for theirs.
What 40 has given me (most of all) is PERSPECTIVE.
I plan to enjoy the ride because who knows when it will end. And I’ll try to keep in mind that growing older is a gift. Besides, I’ll never be as young again as I am today (mind blown).
40 is actually full of this:
- Perspective (ever-growing).
- Laughter (even when I want to cry).
- Comfort (in my skin).
- Gratitude (for every experience).
- Compassion (for those I don’t like).
- Faith (in a very BIG God).
- Honesty (because it’s easier).
- Grace (fills my life).
- Forgiveness (is so freeing).
- Love (all that matters).